I'm reading Anam Cara by John O'Donahue. It's about the ancient Celtic philosophy of "soul friends". It is beautiful and overwhelming, and the stuff of daydreams, but not terribly realistic. The book is spiritually attractive. Some people would call it fluffy nonsense. It might be. Nevertheless, I do believe I've had some genuine friends in my life. In my younger days, I was a lot more naive, which means I was a lot more loving. I'm jaded and cautious now. I guess that happens to some people when they've experienced trauma.
I'm currently missing my friends Tony and Mike. We all met in junior high school, and were nearly inseparable for a decade. Even as young adults, we stayed in close contact, visiting each other, going to movies, acting up in church, heck, we even shopped at Walmart together because we were stuck in a boring town and had nothing better to do. We laughed until we hurt. They were the best huggers. Nobody to this day has hugged me like those two did. Not even my ex-husband.
Tony ended up deployed to the Bosnian conflict, and he still managed to keep in touch via letters and photos. Here we are in our 40s, and he still sends me gifts in the mail sometimes. Mike taught me to drive in a surprisingly patient manner for an anxious 17-year-old boy. He's 41 now, and he recently uploaded some drawings to his Instagram in my honor. He used to draw pictures for me when we were young.
Tony and Mike are both married with kids and living in other states now. Their punk asses are horribly sexist to the point that I ditched them on Facebook (I will literally block anybody there) for their offensive posts, but I still have them on other social media. I don't think I'll ever lose them completely, at least, I don't intend to. We were besties for a long time, and we have all been through a great deal, both together and apart. They make me angry, but I acknowledge that they're human, and I still love them.
I for sure don't have those kind of friendships anymore. The emo kids are long gone. Now, we're just old and tired. Life comes at you fast, folks.
I think I'll send Mike and Tony some messages tonight, just to let them know that I miss their dumb faces, their stupid jokes, and their A+ hugs.
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